did I win the battle and lose the war or lose the battle and win the war...or did I just literally "truce?"

In some ways this was a really crappy week......

First, I lost the funding for my academic proposal.....

I had put a lot of work into that....and I know, I know, I knew that there was good chance that I wouldn't get it; but I had begun to feel hopeful that maybe, just maybe, someone was as ready to invest in me as I was.....

The kicker was, I didn't even get told "no" by the person who had the authority to make or break it...she let someone else tell me if it was up to them, it would be a "no."  Nice.  Thanks for that.

Then a good friend cancelled plans on me at the last minute.  Again.  For the third time. 

Then, I found out more funding fell through and I have been bumped back to my old job.  Back to violent patients, medications, injections, code whites and bitchy doctors who think I am inconveniencing them by calling them for orders....yep.....

And for extra fun, I got told, to just have "radical acceptance" and "it is what it is," by my boss.....grrrrr.......

Then I found out this little "bump" could cost me about $10 000 in lost wages.....funny how this was the catalyst for my full on "kersnap attack."

So my friend that stood me up?  I let her have it.  I told her that it was selfish of her to dismiss me without thought.  I told her it hurt.  (And it did).  And because she really is an awesome person, just humanly flawed; she heard me, listened and apologized.  I think it was one of the first time I have ever told someone I am upset with them and had them just "make it right."  No arguing, no turning it into something it's not....just said she was sorry and attempted to make it right.....