Why am I so apprehensive about this whole wedding fiasco???

Most women will mopenly admit to spending hours and hours dreaming about their wedding and what it will look like. They have already mentally picked the flowers, the song, the colours, the chaircovers, the location.....the truth is, the whole thing makes me very uneasy....

Now I know some out there will think that this is perhaps my inner voice telling me not to marry this person. Ironically, he is the one thing I am sure about. I know I will spend my life with him (and while I recognize that this sounds overly confident, we have just celebrated out 13 year anniversary, so it is safe to assume since we have not left yet, the commitment is pretty solid.) It is the compulsion to make sure everyone is happy, which I know, is completely ridiculous. Knowing that things are going to go wrong, that my parents are going to anny me, that his parents are going to frustrate me, that my best friend's marriage is so rocky that this may cause turmoil, that the cost is more than expected, etc etc......I am not sure how this happened, this was supposed to be less stressful.....

I have been reassured that this is the worst of it; that after the resort id picked and booked it will get easier....not sure I believe that......

One more monkey wrench and we are eloping......just an FYI......

The truth is, I am terrified to hear the bitching, the moaning, the whining that will ensue. Somehow, if the rooms are not perfect, if the beach isn't nice, if the food sucks, if it rains, it will somehow be MY fault. I know that this is ridiculous, but I will be the one to hear about it. I will try my very best to set up boundaries, but I just know that someone will manage to step over them and piss me off beyond recognition. I should actually start a pool and take bets on who it will be......

I wonder if I will ever begin to get excited..........

on hiatus....

It has been a while.....that usually means things in life are going well and i feel no particular urge to vent about all the things wring in my life, or they are bad; and I have been spending a lot of time putting out fires, so to speak.....

Well, nothing like an engagement to bring out the best and worst in people....people who think they can help (they can't) people who think they know what they are talking about (they don't), people who think you are selfish for wanting to go away and get married as opposed to spending thousands of dollars to entertain friends family (And we're selfish??), people who think that taking your child to Caribbean island is equivalent to taking to Central Congo......geesh...I suppose I could go on.

So right now; we are tentatively getting married in Cuba......Jan 2013. Sometime between the 7th and the 15th....let me know if you would like to join us......