The Last Lecture

Just when I think that I am in a dark place no one else could understand; I think of Randy Pausch; the professor from Carnagie Mellon University who passed away in 2008 from pancreatic cancer, leaving behind a wife and three small children. Children who will never have had the opportunities to really get to know him. His book The Last Lecture was a testament for them and a chance for him to tell his life story and childhood dreams.....his close friend developed a "study guide" for educators to enhance the reflections and understanding of the book and our own place of reflection. I think they are improant questions we must all answer about ourselves....

He asks the following:

1. Why has this lecture/book struck a chord with so many people?
2. Where is the speaker/author “coming from”?
3. What are my childhood dreams? How might I achieve them?
4. What were the dreams my parents had and how did they fulfill them?
5. Who are mentors I can turn to? What lessons have they taught me?
6. And what wisdom would I choose to impart to the world if it was my last chance?
7. What are the lessons of my own life?


1. I think so many people fell in love with this book simply because we are drawn to other people's inner strength and courage. The mere thought of not being around to see Avery grow up sends fear up my spine and nausea through me. To face it, embrace it and share it with others is remarkable. Of course, this could be the opposite effect; looking for the emotions of a dying man (kind of like slowing down to see the car wreck) but I am choosing to be more optimistic than that. I think human beings are drawn to "bright lights" and this one is a pretty bright light. Coming to terms with one's one immediate mortality is incredibly brave; most of us cannot even comprehend out own eventual mortality. I think we admire this amn, not only because he accepts this with such grace and dignity, but because he could also be our friend, collegue, brother or partner. Imagine having the ability to accept losing everything and everyone as you know it; and having them have to deal with the loss of you. That takes a kind of bravery few can truly appreciate.

2. Randy is coming from a place of acceptance; almost a "this is the best I can do with what I have," place. That is a hard place. I know I would want more than that. I would not to be content with a speech at the university and the admiration of my courage. I would not be okay with my child only having pictures and a video of my last lecture. I want every waking minute until I am an old lady with her. I know this makes me selfish, and in no way am I more deserving of this than any other parent who loves their child. To have to accept that this is not a possibility is heartbreaking.

sigh...will have to return to this later.....