Why am I so apprehensive about this whole wedding fiasco???

Most women will mopenly admit to spending hours and hours dreaming about their wedding and what it will look like. They have already mentally picked the flowers, the song, the colours, the chaircovers, the location.....the truth is, the whole thing makes me very uneasy....

Now I know some out there will think that this is perhaps my inner voice telling me not to marry this person. Ironically, he is the one thing I am sure about. I know I will spend my life with him (and while I recognize that this sounds overly confident, we have just celebrated out 13 year anniversary, so it is safe to assume since we have not left yet, the commitment is pretty solid.) It is the compulsion to make sure everyone is happy, which I know, is completely ridiculous. Knowing that things are going to go wrong, that my parents are going to anny me, that his parents are going to frustrate me, that my best friend's marriage is so rocky that this may cause turmoil, that the cost is more than expected, etc etc......I am not sure how this happened, this was supposed to be less stressful.....

I have been reassured that this is the worst of it; that after the resort id picked and booked it will get easier....not sure I believe that......

One more monkey wrench and we are eloping......just an FYI......

The truth is, I am terrified to hear the bitching, the moaning, the whining that will ensue. Somehow, if the rooms are not perfect, if the beach isn't nice, if the food sucks, if it rains, it will somehow be MY fault. I know that this is ridiculous, but I will be the one to hear about it. I will try my very best to set up boundaries, but I just know that someone will manage to step over them and piss me off beyond recognition. I should actually start a pool and take bets on who it will be......

I wonder if I will ever begin to get excited..........