Stalemate

I hate stalemates......

I hate these moments in time....when you know something is going on but the other person is, for whatever reason, just not talking about it.  And no amount of gentle prodding, asking, expressing concerns, and finally, getting upset about is going to change a fucking thing.  You know those moments when someone says to you, "I'm fine, really....nothing's bothering me."  yeah.....sure....

Most of the time this is not a rope I would yank on....really...my life over the past year has been far to hectic and frustrating at times, that I really lived by the adage, "You don't want to tell me?  Fine.....then don't...." because in between a full time job, corporate obligations, parental responsibilities and wedding planning, there really wasn't much time for to just sit around and look for things to be wrong.  Maybe that's the problem....maybe they've been wrong for a while now and I've just gotten around to noticing....

But God forbid you tell me when I ask!

One of my oldest and dearest friends is about to take a huge leap and end a stalemate that has been a part of her life for more than 20 years....she is about to leap.  And leap big.  She is going to tell a man she has crushed on her whole life that this is how she feels and she wants more.  On one hand, I don't envy her.  On the other....butterflies are butterflies....

I don't have butterflies...I have a deep seething disturbance that something is wrong and no one is talking.  They are hiding behind, "I'm fine...."

I hate when your instincts tell you one thing and logic tells you another.....

stalemate....